My Illustration Agency Dumped me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ending a working relationship on amicable and sensible terms

I received an e-mail from my illustration agency today, informing me that they would like to end my contract.

Though it stung my ego, it did not come as a surprise, as they have not been able to find me any assignments in these last two years. They rightfully pointed out that, since the creative industry has been very tough in recent times, and they have been unsuccessful in marketing my particular style, they no longer see the sense in continuing our working relationship and thus “blocking” my ability to compete independently in the DACH — Germany, Austria, Switzerland — region.

They were nice about it though, pointing out that it was enjoyable working with me, and that each client I had was happy with my work.

I have to say that I agree with everything they said. Even if it does hurt to hear that my style “is difficult to market” — it is not the first time that I have heard this. My brain says it’s OK to be myself and just keep doing my best in what I’m good at, but in my heart I’m a dejected little child who feels kind of worthless. It’s OK, I’ll eventually get over it.

I don’t know if I believe that things happen for a reason. I’m more of a “make do with what you have” kind of person. But I think, when one really feels down and thrown into the wilderness, having something to believe in can help. So I’ll do that: believe that this happened for a reason, that all of this will have a reason.

And at the end of the day, this wasn’t all for nothing: I worked with some interesting clients and on meaningful projects that really aligned with my values, all thanks to my agency. This lead to some valuable experiences and additions to my portfolio.

Plus, I learnt a lot about the business side of the industry, and how to advocate for my work, as well as the time that goes into it. In short, it hasn’t been 3.5 years wasted. Like any relationship, it hurts to say good bye, but it doesn’t mean that the relationship itself didn’t have its purpose.

Does it feel awkward to still have the most popular video on my Youtube channel be “How I got into an Illustration Agency”?

Yes, a little. It feels like a lot of pressure having so many people look to it for advice, and then not being able to be the same person. But hey, that’s life??? Things change. And I hope most people understand, some (if not most) contracts won’t last a lifetime. And it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your career, or that you’re a fraud, or that you can’t find your own way. And if it hasn’t been working out with an agency for a while, it’s probably wise to end the relationship.

I don’t regret putting up that video, as I still sometimes receive comments and messages from people who say that my video inspired them to keep trying. I even received one recently from an illustrator who said that they got into an agency! And that’s all I can ask for, really.

As for where I’m headed to next: I’m happy to report that I’ve been working on three different projects — a mural, a poster, and a book cover — but just haven’t had the opportunity to share any of it yet (hence my being quiet these last few months). They’re still in the works, but here are my sketches:

I’ll be sure to keep you updated!

Hopefully, this will be a more action-packed year for freelance illustration, unlike these last couple of years — for all of us. Fingers crossed.