personal news — BLOG — Kat J. Weiss

I’ve been aware of how much of a time-suck social media can be for a while now, especially after reading How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell, but found it hard to change my relationship to it. I even made a Youtube video (now privated) documenting my attempt at reducing my screen time, but did not manage to keep up this lifestyle change for long after that.

So why have I suddenly decided to take myself off social media, and what’s different this time?

In short: my parents came to visit, entrusted me with a bunch of new responsibilities, and I got overwhelmed.

I realised pretty quickly that in order to fit all of these new responsibilities into my life, along with a new job starting soon, continued portfolio work & latent freelance career, taking care of my rabbits, hobbies, and really any house hold task you can think of – including an apartment make-over – I needed to immediately cut out any time-wasting entities, so bye bye social media. Finally, I had a reason bigger than my own wants and desires; a force stronger than the allure of needing to be connected at all times.

I spent a lot of time redecorating my place.

For 2+ weeks now I’ve been logged out most platforms and have deleted all apps off my phone, except for Youtube and Apple Podcasts (if that even counts), which I use as a kind of background noise while doing mostly mindless tasks, or for entertainment purposes when I’m done for the day. But even then I try to be mindful of when they take up too much of my time or distract me.

Admittedly, I did log back into Instagram a at least once per week, just to let people know what was going on and that I wasn’t ignoring them. I also logged back into Twitter a few times to a) doomscroll out of boredom, and b) catch up on some news. Ultimately I found these behaviour patterns too time-consuming, and have been staying off the platform more consistently.

Maybe unnecessary side note, but in order to get the embedded social media links for this article, I also had to log back into Instagram – but it no longer felt like it was for my personal use.

2+ weeks really isn’t that long of a time, but it feels like ages – as if somehow social media has the ability to foreshorten time in digital space, and outside of it, you start to feel the actual duration. The internet moves fast, as they say. I’m noticing lots of periods of nothingness just by existing in the offline world, and I’m wondering – was this all the time I used to willingly give up?

My screen time comparisons, from before I “quit” social media to a few weeks after. I think the difference is pretty extreme! The global screen time average is around 6.5 hours daily, which is almost hard to imagine.

Not using up my time scrolling / liking / being liked / posting feels very awkward. The word that comes closest to it is ennui – but it also feels much more like an itch. As if I’m itching for something to do, something to itch my dopamine-hungry brain with. Every now and then I itch to check Instagram, to Tweet, to scroll, but in the back of my mind I’ve already reached the conclusion that these actions will never truly satisfy the longing that I feel.

To be fair, I haven’t started work yet, so perhaps this ennui will lessen once I have a job. I’m curious to see if staying off social media will help me balance work / freelance / free-time / house hold chores. I know for sure that my time will be precious then, so maybe it’s not a bad idea to get a head-start on better time-management.

Chair upholstery which I fixed in the most unhinged embroidery style ever, thrifted decor for my room. For new things I try to buy second-hand as much as possible, which is why my interior kinda looks a grandma’s cottage (which is fine).

So instead, I redirect myself to writing, my other hobbies, or one of the many house hold tasks I’ve bullet-pointed on a seemingly never-ending list. Really, I do not have any excuse to be bored! On the other hand, this feeling, this lull, is probably one I’ve forgotten how to feel for a very long time.

It’s weird because I’ve always had this frivolous dream of secluding myself in a forest cabin, away from the world, just so I can write and make art without a filter. True, physical separation from your usual surroundings is sometimes completely necessary, but that isn’t always possible, and besides, you can never run away from your problems. All along I had the opportunity to create the forest cabin around me – I just didn’t do it.

My redecorated work space with thrifted floral curtains, thrifted planter, and a plant hanger which I crocheted :)

To be clear, I do not think I am now morally superior because of all of this. After all, how can I look down on a tool that has sparked and facilitated so many important social movements – from Black Lives Matter, to MeToo, to the protests in Thailand and beyond?

But revolutions need to be much more multifaceted than “participatory media structures,” as communication scientist Martin Emmer puts it, and besides, even the revolutionary needs moderated screen-time. I just know that this was a personal inevitability for me, because as well as taking a lot of my time, social media had the tendency to have a hold on my emotions. And who knows how many of my thoughts it has manipulated without me realising it?

A thrifted tablecloth with rabbits and chickens (! of course), a thrifted cart for my art supplies; sadly one of the wheels broke but it’s still standing, at least. The white IKEA Alex drawer, big enough for A2 paper, and one of the few more expensive items I didn’t thrift. Finally, learn from my mistakes: glass picture frames > plexiglass picture frames.

I feel confident that being more protective of my time and energy is one of the healthiest life decisions I can make, but I also know that it can never be more than just a phase. The reality is that I’ll still need social media to promote my freelance work, at least from time to time, and most likely for any future jobs.

But how can I integrate these platforms back into my life, without being sucked into the absolute time vortex that they are? To this end: I recently discovered that you can set time-limits on your apps via the regular iPhone settings, so perhaps that is an option for me. If you have any experience with this, feel free to let me know – PS there is a comments section beneath each of my blog entries!

I may be utilising these iPhone settings in the future…

And beyond that, especially if you have experience juggling a house hold, having a job, taking care of pets, kids, cooking, grocery shopping, etc, while also having a hobbies – I’m looking at you, working house wives and house husbands – how do you balance all of this? Have you found that staying off social media was helpful for you as well?

And finally, I know this is a trite question, but how do we connect beyond social media in the 21st century? It seems we get an overwhelming sense of our connectedness virtually nowadays, and I have to admit that I miss sharing the silly moments throughout my day with my friends, from the way my rabbits lie in their funny little positions to how I’ve done up my place. I feel isolated, kinda. Sure, we can go out and talk, but that’s not always an option, and there will always be the need to communicate in a way that transcends physical and temporal boundaries: we’ve done it for thousands of years, after all, from caves to chatrooms.

Even the rabbits got a rabbit room make over! The vinyl flooring is better for their feet and easier for me to clean / generally protects the room from damage.

It seems that this blog is the only sustainable way for me to keep connecting in the modern world, so I sincerely hope that you will continue to enjoy reading it!

I went to have a hearing test and it turns out that I have light to moderate hearing loss, which mostly affects high-frequency sounds/soft consonants. I wasn’t at all surprised as I have known about my lower than average hearing for pretty much my entire life; certain people just sound like they are constantly mumbling to me, I am known to ask people to repeat themselves multiple times, and the fact that I might not hear a phone ringing or someone calling me is a common occurrence. I think it’s genetic because it runs on my father’s side of the family…

If you have never noticed this about me then it’s likely that it’s because we were together, in close proximity + in a quiet place, and you weren’t whispering. Other ways that I have “hid” my hearing loss are: a) through educated guessing about what someone might have said or b) simply ignoring the person or nodding and smiling (LOL sorry if I did this to you).

What I am actually pretty surprised about is that I am entitled to – that it’s actually being recommended for me – to get hearing aids. In fact, it’s recommended for even light hearing loss, which I suppose makes sense, because no one would ever say “Yeah, you could totally get by!” to someone with the slightest vision loss. Having hearing aids/hearing loss is still stigmatised, it seems. I think it’s getting better now, but growing up, I can tell you that not being able to hear properly was very rarely met with any kind of understanding or empathy. It was almost always met with annoyance and impatience – treated as if it was my fault.

My audiogram results for a better explanation of my hearing loss. Any point greater than 26dB is considered hearing loss. More information on degrees of hearing loss here.

Once I get the chance to do another hearing test at a doctor’s, and they give me a proper prescription, I can get health insurance to cover a standard pair of hearing aids. If not, then, we’ll see… right now I’m testing a pair of hearing aids that the local hearing aid dispenser gave me to try for a week, and here’s what my audio experience has been like so far:

I can hear way more rustling and crackling in my surroundings than before, which is sometimes annoying and can lead to “sensory overload” (as I am writing this, I am feeling weirdly fatigued and unfocused, so I’m taking a “hearing aid break”)
My own voice sounds like I am speaking through a metal box, kinda
Children sound like robots
Any recordings coming out of a device sound extra metallic
Overall, any high frequency sounds have more of a “vibration” to them

WOW, none of that sounds actually beneficial, but I think I need to test out speaking to people in noisy places, or speaking to children and people that mumble by default (also children, mostly). If I don’t end up getting hearing aids because $$$ or whatever, then I suppose the only message that I want to send with this is to please be more patient and understanding with people that can’t hear properly, or otherwise have more difficulty understanding the world than you do :)